Sookie sighed and slumped down lower in the passenger seat, pushing her sunglasses down over her eyes. If only they blocked out sound, she thinks woefully. They’re only two hours into the drive, but she’s so sick of Boyz II Men already that she could just spit.
It doesn’t help that she keeps accidentally catching little snatches of thought from the driver, either.
“We are not going to have sex when we stop for the night,” Sookie bursts out when she can no longer contain herself. “That’s not going to happen. At all.”
“Aww, Sookieeeeeeee,” Tom whines, turning to give her what she supposes is suppose to be a sexy pout. “Why not?”
“Because you’re kind of creepy. And pathetic,” Sookie says frankly. “It’s not an appealing combination!”
“I’m creepy?” Tom asks, sounding incredulous. “You hang around with vampires all the time! How can you find me creepy after spending time with dead guys?”
Sookie shrugs, then shudders. “It helps that I don’t accidentally learn things about their masturbation habits.”
“Hey! Those thoughts were private!”
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Sookie grumbles. “But seriously, Tom, ew.”
[8 - tom haverford, 15 - sookie stackhouse]
(sort of a follow-up to this)
“Oreos or Chips Ahoy?” Blaine asks, turning to face her with one in each hand. He dances the packages around and Sugar cackles, grabbing both and tossing them in the cart.
“Both, really?” Blaine says, snorting. “How high are you?”
“Juuuust enough,” Sugar says happily, tossing in a package of Mint Milanos. “Wanna go pick out ice cream?”
“Totally,” Blaine says, pushing the cart down the aisle. “But no Popsicles — you’ll just make fun of me.”
“It’s not my fault you take it like a pornstar,” Sugar protests. She smacks him on the shoulder affectionately. “You should be proud, baby!”
Blaine can’t help but smile at that, because, well… yeah, he really kind of is.
[11 - sugar motta, 12 - blaine anderson]
“But where’s the bar?” Lucille asks blankly, using her hand to shield her eyes from the bright morning sun. “I simply must find the bar.”
“Breakfast first, then bar,” Ron says, his voice gruff as he rubs at his mustache.
“No,” Lucille says, turning to fix him with a withering glare. “The bar is breakfast.”
“Bacon and eggs are breakfast.”
“Oh, get over yourself,” Lucille snaps.
“You are a tremendous bitch,” Ron points out mildly. “I find it both repulsive and incredibly arousing.”
“Yes,” Lucille says with a terrifying wink. “I’m told I have that effect.”
[1 - lucille bluth, 4 - ron swanson]
“Oh, wow,” Blaine says, staring down at the bottle. “Me.”
“You,” Dany agrees, crawling toward him on her knees. “Is that all right? I doubt you’ve kissed many women.”
“Just one,” Blaine says, his face reddening as she cups his cheek. “But I have made out with a prom queen.”
[7 - daenerys targaryen, 12 - blaine anderson]
“This is recon,” Veronica whispers again. “We’re supposed to be watching the clientele, not the guys in g-strings.”
“But I have a whole Gucci bag full of singles,” Sugar says with a pout, waving a handful in the direction of the guy in the police uniform. “Don’t be so boring, V. Lookit that ass, girl!”
“That is… yep, that’s an ass,” Veronica says, forcing a smile as the cop sidles up in front of them and yanks off his tear-away pants.
“Yeahhhh,” Sugar cheers, throwing an arm around Veronica’s shoulders and making them both sway to the pounding music. “Spank it, you bad, bad boy!”
I don’t care what he says, next time I’m definitely bringing Wallace.
[2 - veronica mars, 11 - sugar motta]
“Ah, fuck,” Darren groans, dropping the spoon in defeat. “It’s still kind of lumpy.”
“I should’ve borrowed Kurt’s electric mixer,” Blaine says sadly, picking the spoon back up and giving the batter a vigorous stir. “This is a lot more labor-intensive than I anticipated.”
Blaine looks forlornly into the bowl and screws up his face, then jumps when Darren suddenly drops to his knees in front of him and tugs at the button on his slacks.
“I have an idea,” Darren purrs. He slides down Blaine’s zipper and nuzzles his cheek against Blaine’s rapidly-hardening erection, grinning up at him wickedly. “You keep stirring while I blow you, and by the time you come that shit’ll be smooth as silk.”
“Um,” Blaine says weakly.
“C’mon, man,” Darren says, sliding a hand inside Blaine’s boxer-briefs and running a calloused finger lightly along his shaft. “You have such a pretty dick.”
“You are wildly narcissistic,” Blaine says, stirring furiously and staring down as Darren pulls out his erection and sucks the tip between his lips.
“Mm, luckily for you,” Darren mumbles, his voice somewhat muffled by the dick in his mouth.
Blaine closes his eyes and keeps stirring.
[3 - darren criss, 12 - blaine anderson]
“Oh, oh my god,” Sam says, bowing deeply to the silver-haired woman in front of him. “Daenerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Queen of the—”
“That’ll suffice,” Dany interrupts with a light laugh, and Sam grins, biting his lip and thinking furiously.
“I don’t speak any Dothraki, Khaleesi — not that I haven’t looked into it! — but I know a little Na’vi. Oh! Or, uh, oh… valar dohaeris! All men must serve. I’m a man. I would be honored to serve you,” he says.
[13 - sam evans, 7 - daenerys targaryen]